J and I have been together for 10 1/2 years and 2013 has been our longest year together by far! I saw many Facebook year in review status updates at the end of last month, but I couldn't seem to fit our year into a top 10 type post. Here is our month by month stressful, exciting, frustrating, joyful, sad, loving and sometimes downright mundane experience.
January/February:
These two months seemed to blur together in a never ending effort to secure our construction loan. At 150 emails I stopped counting my communications with the bank to finalize our loan and begin the actual renovation. We also had to swallow that tough little pill life throw's our way sometimes called, I don't care what your plans are, so deal with it. Our loan was roughly half of what we qualified for if we were purchasing a new home, which meant we had to scrap our $3,000 architectural plans and go back to the drawing board. These were hair pulling; going crazy at my parents house; it was friggin' 10 below zero out and we couldn't work on the demolition; no alone time; how many times can the bank resend us the same f'n documents to sign because they messed up the date again kind of months. Needless to say, our year did not begin with the optimistic start one hopes for whenever the calendar rolls over another numeral with the promise of new beginnings.
March:
We finally closed on our construction loan and I jetted back to the sunshine state for a week of r&r to spend time with friends and soak in the sun. This was also when I decided to begin blogging and it provided much needed relief to take out my anxiety and frustrations on the keyboard. After gaining a tan and a bit of perspective, I came back to the Mitten ready to tackle the next few months of construction. With an anticipated move in date of July it seemed our year had finally hit a turning point!
April:
With Spring in the air we got straight to work and hired out the remainder of the large scale demolition so we could move forward with building. In a blur of dumpsters and work crews our spirits were soaring the first couple weeks of the month. Monsoon like weather brought progress to a screeching halt and set the tone for the rocky relationship we could encounter with our general contractor for the remainder of the project.
This month was also when we had a major scare upon discovering a lump in my breast. My OB confirmed there was in fact a lump and at 30 years old I had my first ultrasound and mammogram. Older women complain about this procedure but it did not prepare me for the hurricane of emotions and feeling of complete violation I experienced that day. As I waited in my cheap hospital issue gown in a waiting room full of women 50 and over, I buried my face in a two year old issue of Better Homes and Gardens to escape the looks of pity, question, and concern being directed my way. When my name was finally called I thought I was going to pass out when the technician explained to me where to place my breasts on the machine and what they were going to do to them. For any guys reading, just picture your testicles being clamped in a vice. Enough said!
After a torturous week of waiting and testing, the results were in that it was a benign mass. The doctor will continue to monitor it and may remove it one day if it does not dissolve on it's own, but my week of hell gave me a much greater appreciation for the strength of men and women who have a much more devastating outcome. As cliché and it sounds, this experience really did change my life because I realized how precious health is and how quickly it can be taken away from us.
May:
I purchased my first kayak and enjoyed the peaceful beauty that Michigan has to offer when we're not buried under a glacier! Slicing through the bayou waters is unbelievably calming. It has always been difficult for me to meditate, but on the water it is fascinating how quickly paddling can clear your mind. The warm weather has also meant more time spent at the dog park with Milo and Gizmo catching up on my reading while they lazed in the grass nearby. The rain finally went on hiatus and after several angry and sometimes downright vulgar phone calls exchanged with our General Contractor, a bit of progress was finally made, but our July move in became a pipe dream.
June:
This month was literally a back breaker! "We", (mostly I), spent hours which turned into days and weeks, digging out a trench around the entire front and side of our house. This was done while the siding crew dangled precariously overhead on their ladders. The trench had to be dug to the footing of the basement and wide enough to stand up in it to tar and flash the exterior block wall to prevent water from seeping into the interior. This job would normally be contracted out and done by machine, but with zero dollars left in the budget and a bank account that was stroke worthy, we laced up our work boots, adorned leather gloves, and grabbed a few spades. NEVER AGAIN!
In addition to spending a small fortune on Aleve for ourselves, we confirmed our fear that our Million Dollar Puggle had indeed torn his second ACL and would require another surgery. By some miracle our veterinarian and family friend not only agreed to let us make payments, but was willing to barter. He needed the floors in his facility stripped and waxed for a 20th anniversary party, and we were broke and desperate to volunteer. We swapped our shovels for mops and an industrial floor polisher and then spent the next 8 weeks carrying Milo up and down the stairs multiple times a day so his leg would heal properly.
July:
We finally had some alone time when my parents went on a week long vacation with my brother and sister-in-law! We enjoyed a tapas style dinner on the fourth of July and I even convinced J to walk downtown for the fireworks after a hard day of working on the house. We scrubbed the wall studs and floor joists in an effort to remove any residual odors from 83 year old wood and remediated a mold issue caused by our contractors failure to properly seal the house during the typhoon spring had brought upon us. Needless to say this did not help us build rapport with him and the relationship became tenser than a tightrope. Circus act aside, we were able to insulate and all the drywall was installed. Insulating is another DIY that I would never choose to do again. We saved thousands of dollars, but to this day I itch head to toe just thinking out it!
August:
Our July move in date came and went, but cabinets had to be hung, flooring and tile installed, and walls needed to be painted. We had a major lapse in judgment and hired a painter off Craigslist. Her online reviews seemed complimentary but we experienced a bait and switch when the crew that arrived included her boyfriend/fiancé of two weeks (yes, I do mean they had only been together a total of two weeks!), and his band mates wanting to make extra cash with zero painting abilities. The ceiling paint was used on the walls, the drywall imperfections were painted over instead of addressed, and there were more smoke breaks than hours in the day. The grand finale was when an impromptu wedding meant they just didn't show up for almost a week!
Suffice it to say they were released from their contract, but not before the boyfriend/fiancé/husband actually removed his shirt, pointed out his Celtic tattoo, and demanded to fight J! For those of you who know J, the absurdity of this situation is laughable. My ultimate lover not a fighter hubby would only fight if it was for his life, not because an artsy fartsy, heavy metal Jesus band hippy claimed we were sexist and only firing them because his "wife" owned the business! He apparently suffers from temporary amnesia or illiteracy because the contracted agreement was a one week time frame that included drywall spackling, caulking and painting all trim, and painting the doors. His invitation to go MMA style in our front yard came after we had given them two extra weeks and they hadn't even finished the wall paint yet!
And so the remainder of the month was spent painting which I despise doing, but since J works insane hours and I was only working part time for the summer months, the baton, or paintbrush rather was unceremoniously handed off to me. A few late nights with dad's help meant new cabinets and flooring were installed and the good people of Lowe's carpeted the bedrooms and stairs in mere hours, thus completing the requirement for us to obtain our certificate of occupancy. We were finally able to move in! Oh yeah, I also turned 31. Guess my 20's are really gone now!
September:
Cattails Kindergarten Readiness was officially open for business! My goal to run my own business had become a reality and J and I breathed a collective sigh of relief because we literally moved in a week before school started, so there was no time to spare. As we slowly unpacked and set up each room, our obvious need for more space became the elephant in the room. One month in and I was spending evenings on Zillow and Trulia causing J's anxiety to reach scary new heights!
Luckily we had a regular escape from reality through our season football tickets for Michigan State. The hour and 45 minute drive on Saturdays offered a welcome reprieve from the checklist of items we still needed to complete at home. We even got to treat grandpa and grandma to their first game, and after being soaked and cold for the first two games, we were happy that the game we brought them to was blue skies and warm fall temperatures. They put in as many hours on our renovation as we did and it was nice to spend time with them outside a construction zone or family function!
Also, MSU is not the only one with beautiful green turf, we finally have a yard! J was very eager to drive the tractor to level the yard, but in the interest of sanity we broke down and hired someone to finish what we started. In a few days our yard went from a dirt pile to a lush landscape. It was worth every penny!
October:
Apparently I like to see J hit his melting point because I set up an open house for family, friends, and neighbors to come see the work we had been obsessing over for the past 18 months. After hiring out the landscaping, his sole focus became completing the back deck. Unfortunately this meant the day before the event he was frantically tiling the fireplace and kitchen backsplash, painting trim, and hanging pictures. As I was diligently following his frenzied trail trying to clear the dust and debris, the lights went out and a slew of explicatives drifted through the house. While dutifully hanging my gallery pictures the night before our big reveal, and not complaining about it at all *cough, cough, he managed to drill right into a major electrical cord and cause the entire left side of the house to lose power. Oops! Luckily he is very handy and was able to temporarily fix it until the electrician could come out. So with trim 80% painted, a deck without railing, sans shoe molding, and grout still drying, we opened our doors to about 70 guests! C'est la vie!
The month ended a bit calmer with full size Snicker's bars for Trick-or-Treater's who braved the rain, and craft beer for the adults as a result of our gross miscalculation for how much people would actually consume at the aforementioned open house! The night cap was grandpa's famous apple dumplings piping hot and laden with vanilla ice cream.
November:
Since October we completed ZERO projects on our house. We literally hit a wall and decided to hire out the painting in the Spring. We enjoyed more Saturday tailgates at our alma mater, and spending time with college friends. After agreeing that we really do need more space, J and I called a truce on the house hunt and decided 3 to 5 years is the magic number. I say 3, with the first year beginning this past January, so we'll see. Our house would be perfect for us if the top floor was not soley dedicated to my business, but the pursuit of my dreams unfortunately eats up valuable real estate, so my plans to expand my class size will be placed on hold until we have more elbow room.
This month also included a fun date night when J and I went to "Prom" together! I got ready at a friend's house, and J came and picked me up all spiffed out in a tux with a corsage in hand. It was for a fundraiser that was held at the local country club, and it was so nice to get dressed up for a night of dinner and dancing with friends.
A couple weeks later, despite the tight fit, we managed to host our first Thanksgiving. It was a bittersweet time because it was a tradition held by my grandma, passed to my mom, and now bestowed on me, but we also learned it would likely be my grandpa's last when his test results confirmed he had cancer. We pushed the couch into the kitchen and set up two tables in the living room. Here we shared a lot of laughter and some tears as my parents, grandparents, brother and his family, aunts, uncles, and cousins feasted on turkey dinner and apple pie. We began a new tradition of writing in a thankful journal and as I read each entry aloud we realized how truly blessed we are.
December:
This was definitely the longest 31 days of the year. Our first year as season ticket holders and our team made it to the Rose Bowl Championship! We got a phone call that grandpa's cancer was terminal and they were talking in terms of mere months. The next day I peed on a stick and had not one but two purple lines staring back at me!
Grandpa was rushed to the hospital after passing out and hospice was called in for his final weeks. We told him and grandma our news and his reaction was so priceless J and I will cherish it always. Only six days later, grandpa passed. Earlier this year he had been up on a ladder pulling plaster off the ceiling of our fixer upper.
The following week was filled with family dinners, visitation, and the funeral. The pastor's eyes popped out further than my growing belly when I mentioned tattoos, Buddha, and my grandpa getting fresh with grandma during my eulogy. We had our first visit with the nurse and so far we're right on track and healthy. Over winter break we told our parents and siblings the big news. Finally, on New Year's Eve we welcomed our newest niece to the world and rang in the new year with close friends who have truly become family over the years.
A Year In Review:
As you can see this has been a very long twelve months, but the song Season's Of Love perfectly captures our 2013. How do you measure a year?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj7LRuusFqo
