Today is Mother's Day. Last night before going to bed I was scrolling through Facebook when I came upon this quote by Marianne Williamson on the Soulseeds Page, "When a woman gives birth, two are born; a baby from the womb of its mother and a woman from the womb of her former existence."
This quote beautifully encompasses exactly what I expect motherhood to be, and it makes me both excited and scared to cross the threshold into motherhood from which there is no turning back! For those that only read half of what I write, NO I AM NOT PREGNANT! This is just a reflection on the ways life will change when J and I do become parents in the next year or two.
This also makes me realize how different my own mother and I am. While I am rapidly approaching 31 years old with a loose time frame in mind for motherhood, my own mom was about two weeks shy of 20 when she gave birth to me. I have had 11 more years of time to evolve, reflect, date, marry, and build a life than my mom had. She met my dad, dated briefly, got engaged, got pregnant, got married, and then gave birth. My mom fit more into one year than I have in eleven.
There were times, and still are when my mom and I do not see eye to eye, but I have come to realize that mothers literally grow with their children. Like Marianne Williamson so eloquently points out, a mother is born from the womb of her former self so like a child she starts from the beginning and grows from there. There is a plethora of classes, books, and unsolicited advice available and bestowed upon new mothers, however the best teachers are time and experience.
My mother taught me important life lessons from always wearing clean underwear (in case I'm in an accident), to standing for what I believe in no matter what the consequence. There were funny tips, like not shaving above my knees because it would make the hair grow faster to serious talks about not settling when choosing a life partner. My mom may not have had an extra decade to think and worry about parenthood, but she grew into her role as a mother and did a wonderful job raising two children which makes me realize that perhaps this role is not one that requires preparation as much as patience and persistence.
After marrying J I gained a second mom and a step mom. I have been fortunate that my mother-in-law tells me frequently how happy she is that I married her son. Some women go their entire marriage without their mother-in-law's approval, and it is a great feeling to know you not only measure up to the hopes she holds for her son, but she loves you as one of her own. Despite the fact that J and I lived in Florida for 7 of the almost 10 years we have been together, when we get together mom and I can carry on a conversation as if only days instead of months have passed.
My step mom has also accepted me with open arms. She has given me a traditional Italian welcome trying to stuff me with pasta and wine on every occasion and sharing her own trials and triumphs of love and motherhood as if I have always been a part of her family.
So I am very blessed this Mother's Day to have 3 special mothers in my life. One I was born from and have grown with, one who is the mother of the most wonderful husband in the world, and one who has become a mother through marriage and has added us to her own brood. To mothers everywhere and as a note to my self in the future, please realize that motherhood is a growing process. Do not be so hard on yourself because there is no black and white. Teach your kids to accept and love themselves and others where they are at, to always approach challenges by giving their best effort, to seek happiness but realize sacrifice is sometimes a necessity, and to lean on other mothers because lessons big and small can be gleaned from their experience. Happy Mother's Day!
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