Baby Fever

Baby fever has officially become an epidemic!  Wedding madness has been bumped in favor of baby showers and it shows no signs of slowing down.  I'm usually the one sitting to the side choking on the non-alcoholic punch that is apparently a prerequisite as I endure stories of the birthing process, night time feedings, and insanely disgusting discoveries that have been unearthed in the confines of a pamper! The very thought of carrying a small being inside of me for more than three quarters of a year and then squeezing it out of a sacred orifice of my body causes the room to spin and bile to rise in the back of my throat.  Then when that bit of hellishness is over what is left is a small fragile being who is the very definition of a dependent!

My husband and I have shared ten years of blissful coupledom where we have been free to make decisions based on our own desires without consideration for a third party.  While complaining incessantly about the inconvenience of how our renovation has thrown us off our schedules and put a monkey wrench in our daily lives, I am beginning to realize that living with a child will not be much different than our current situation. Privacy will become a thing of the past, "me time" will be deemed selfish and incite judgment, meals soon revolve around someone else's schedule, and couple time turns into the unicorn of a relationship! 


Check out this spot on article that mirror my own fears of parenthood!

In addition to a baby being life changing, suddenly there is a new interest in what goes on behind closed doors.  The baby police come out in full force offering advice and criticism for everything from sleeping schedules and food choices to preschool selection and college tuition! Even as these words appear on the screen I realize how judgmental I have been of other parents.  How many times have I rolled my eyes at a screaming baby in a restaurant, barely refrained from lecturing a mother for allowing her child stand in the basket of the grocery cart, offered advice for hiding vegetables in food for toddlers, or shaken my head watching parents give in to their little dictators rolling on the floor tearfully demanding a cookie?

The barrage of advice and questions started when I first typed the words that J and I were moving toward beginning a family.  I have already been questioned about conceiving and offered insights on not worrying if it doesn't "take" right away.  Apparently when I explicitly stated that I was not quite ready to throw my pill pack away there were a few eager eyes who skimmed over that sentence!

So as we approach this new territory I would like to apologize to all parents out there that I may have judged in the past.  I would also like to set the record straight that I will not be posting my monthly menstrual cycle results on any type of social media, and close friends and family need not ask when we're planning to start trying because there will be a noticeable absence of a cocktail in my hand and a deer in headlights look in my eyes. The only thing that scares me more than hurdling over the side of a mountain in a motorized vehicle to my imminent death is having another human being that I am responsible for 24/7!